After 30 years of working with the poor and marginalized in our community, I've developed a "love-hate" relationship with the holidays.

I love the holiday season because of the time I have with my children and grandchildren. I love being able to cook and bake and make memories. I love the spirit of compassion that runs through our community - the turkey, toy and coat drives, and the stories of "random acts of kindness" that fill the airways.

I hate the holidays though because the paradox of poverty becomes even more glaring during the commercialism of the holiday season. It is also generally the time people are most in need and the money to run programs are exhausted for the year. If you work in serving the most vulnerable, usually you spend the majority of your holiday season scrambling to raise money, find volunteers, and prepare Christmas for hundreds. The stress of it all makes it tough to keep the "holiday spirit". (This year's event to serve 300 people is well on its way - we could really use your help so give me a call)

Generally, sometime during the holiday season usually around the 20th of December, I have a day where I think - "Forget this, I'm going to work for McDonald's. In fact I'd make more money doing that than this!"

This day is generally is prompted by the struggles of raising money and finding enough to pay the bills associated with serving the most vulnerable among us. I never really mean it - and the mood generally only lasts about 24 hours - but still, its there.

This year the stress has been even greater. In addition to preparing Christmas for 300, I have been struggling for weeks to raise money to help keep Blessing House (a small home serving women who would otherwise be homeless), the Senior High Rise Food Bank (serving 400 people a week) and the Veterans Justice Alliance Project (now working with over 20 homeless and disabled Veterans) all alive. (We have a fundraiser planned so please plan on attending - check our event posting to reserve your seat)

As a result, the dreaded "I quit" day came a little early. This year, less than 24 hours after I had stuffed 20 members of my family to the gills with turkey and all the trimmings and counted all my blessings, I was back on the job and it was my turn to take the calls of our InLife Community Concierge phone line. The first one I got was from a woman who, given the way she barked her opening remarks, was obviously upset and frustrated. "Before we get into everything" she started, "I want to know if you are really going to be able to help me".

"Well," I said slowly, "I'm not exactly sure what you are looking for so I can't promise you I can help - but I will tell you if I can't I'll stay with it and you until we find someone who can." This seemed to defuse her a bit and she proceeded to tell me a story.

She had been standing in line at the pharmacy when a young, well dressed man at the counter in front of her was fumbling for money to pay for a prescription for his children who were in tow. She said she saw him fumbling for change and overheard that he wasn't that short. So she decided she was going to get out of the store quicker if she just paid the little bit that was left so she could get her business done and move on.

"Wow", I said, "that was incredibly generous of you, but I'm not sure..."

"Just wait" she said and then went on with her story. "When I started out of the store, he was standing there and insisted that he take my groceries to the car for me. He said it was the least he could do. On our way to the car I found out that he was a young single father and Veteran of the Marines. I also found out that he was working but because he is paid on commissions and the economy is bad he is really struggling. And as we continued to talk, I realized my husband and I could help him a little, so after we called and checked out his story, we paid his utility bill so he could keep the heat on. Then we called some friends and together we helped get him a car to go back and forth to work because he was spending hours on the bus every morning. Now though he's in danger of being evicted and my husband and I have cancer and can't do any more. I've called over 50 churches, community programs and county social service agencies to get him help and not one of them has done anything! In fact, one church leader even had the audacity to scold him for being in trouble and told him he shouldn't be even asking for help as an ex-Marine! So I want to know what you are going to do?!"

I just sat quietly for a few minutes before I responded. "First what I am going to do is apologize for the difficulty you have had in trying to do the right thing by helping this young man. I can only say that many of the organizations are overwhelmed or simply not trained to really help in your situation. Then I'm going to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time - for putting in the effort - for caring. I was ready to quit today and you just reminded me why I can't and won't. Now I'm going to tell you that the struggles you are having finding him help is the struggles of hundreds of people who call me each month. The truth is our "safety net" is broken and it will take all of us working together to fix it."

After more conversation I asked her to have the young father call me directly. After a few minutes he did and he repeated the story the woman had told me, including the part about being chastised by one church leader he had asked for help. At this, his voice broke ever so slightly and he said that "it's just been real hard". It simply broke my heart. I told him that I could not imagine how difficult it was for him to keep his faith under these circumstances and how proud I was of him for having the courage to ask for help.

Now I wish I could tell you that we've solved his problem and found him help. I can't. The truth is that for most programs that are available his income is $100 too much so he's not eligible or they can't really help until he and his children are literally on the streets. We are still negotiating, advocating and looking for help for him. The sad truth is though just like we watched during Katrina, the social safety net just has too many holes in it - one he had fallen into.

The US system of social assistance known as the "safety net" is comprised of numerous federal departments and agencies, state and local offices, community based secular and faith based organizations and even private businesses. Authorized by different congressional committees spanning over 75 years, these programs were created to meet specific needs of different poor and vulnerable groups. Some, like Medicaid, are entitlement programs that guaranteed benefits to all eligible applicants while others, like child care or housing, operate on discretionary funding that is sufficient for only a fraction of qualifying applicants.

Different sets of rules and regulations govern benefit eligibility across the 80 plus programs creating a "safety net" that is fragmented, difficult and costly to administer and simply to complex for the poor or anyone else to navigate. Compounding the labyrinth of bureaucracy of public funded programs is the maze of local secular and faith-based non-profits that deliver services directly to those in need. Currently there are over 1.9 million nonprofits in America, 15,000+ in Colorado alone.

Yet for all our efforts, both publicly and privately, the U.S. Census Bureau reports there are more than 35.7 million Americans living below the poverty line and the number has increased steadily over the last five years. Clearly - whether you are conservative or liberal - when you look at the evidence you have to see that what we are doing simply isn't working! The question is nobody seems to want to ask though is what will?

Unfortunately, I don't think we are going to find the solutions to some of our most challenging social issues like poverty if we wait for our elected officials to find the answer. I think the solution is in the hands of people like the woman who called me last Friday. Or the over 30 small social entrepreneurs who are bringing people in off the streets to live in small homes they own, or running food banks from their garages, or working 2nd and sometimes 3rd jobs to keep their small neighborhood based nonprofits alive. It is going to take each one of us - reaching out and helping another - to really build the type of world we are all looking for.

Hubert Humphrey once said, "Government will never replace the helping hand of a neighbor". Unless we can all come together as a community and support not only the large organizations who can afford to advertise their programs on television and in large ads in the local newspapers but the small food bank or shelter right in our own neighborhoods - we may loose the only programs that are currently catching those who have already fallen through the cracks.

The River of Light Enterprise, Inc. is a 501(c)3 community offering two primary services - our InLife Community Concierge Service, acting as a single point of entry for those in need; and, the Chamber of Compassion, offering specialized "business to business" support services to neighborhood based nonprofits, faith-based programs and citizen led initiatives. For more information visit our website at: www.riveroflight.org